May 25, 2004
Decisions,decisions..Should I buy the house that my wife,Jill, is leaving to go to VTC or stay in my apartment? Can I afford it? Will it be a downer living there,knowing that was the same house that I thought my dream of a happy family life would materialize? I hurt so bad about having Kiernan being away from me... I wrote a poem when I was 18 in which I railed against my father for not telling me of his life.. It must have been rough with an alcoholic father and all. I felt as though I was cheated for not knowing more about him. I swore that if I had a son I would tell him everything he wanted to know. Now, I will no longer be able to be around him as much,and will lose many chances of learning about each other.....I wanted to be the dad that my father never was.
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If you can afford it, buy it!! Your dream is still there, maybe some of the characters have changed, but the dream lives on. I was torn when my wife split over keeping her dog. I thought it would remind me too much of her, but she was going to put her in the pound, and there's no way I could live with that. So, I kept her. And back in April, I had to put her down. I thought nothing would ever hurt as bad as losing my wife till that day. That's when I realized that I didn't need to worry about having a constant reminder of my ex around. I loved that dog, and she helped me through my tough time.(that and alot of weed). But, my point is, if you love that house, and think its a perfect place to raise a family, don't let it go for fear of a dream that didn't pan out. You never know what tomorrow brings. Hold on to your dreams. On another note, I love the band!! Sounds like your going places. (or at least having some fun on the way!!) Keep me posted to your progress, or any new postings!! -Peace, Steve
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